mi vida

all my life ive always been the one to get hurt. get shit on and my face rubbed in it. I always prayed to god and asked him why he choose me to go through the things that i have. i use to be so angry at life bc why could such a good person go through so much. Someone very important in my life told me that its because there are people out there that prey on people like me. someone who is caring,kind,compasionate and hard-working. im not really your average girl. i enjoy sports and stuff that most girls wouldnt. i love football and basketball but also love racing and UFC. i can kickbutt in Xbox and drink beers with the guys. But when you look at me you wouldnt see that. I have been in 2 relationships my whole life, both of them bad and abusive. i use to dwell on how could they treat me so bad, what did i do wrong? if everyone keeps telling me who amazing i am and how lucky a man would be to have me, why are these people treating me this way? i never understand it. Before i got into bad relationships i had my dad abuse me and my sisters. he was an alcoholic and use to put us through hell. i have never been one of those people that sit and use what has happened to me to be an excuse as of why i cant succeed in life. i have always pushed myself harder than most. my sisters are the same way bc probably without me they wouldnt be alive. i raised them since i was 15 until i was 17. i was their mother and their father. all they ever knew and now that they are older and one of them is graduating and top of her class im just so proud of her, the others are smart as ever and take all AP classes. im proud of them all!! after i broke up with my last boyfriend, i thought to myself are there really no real men out there? ones that know how to appreciate a women and treat them with respect? i said to myself that i wanted to be alone for awhile and try to just see how people really are. I prayed to god that maybe he would bc of the pain i have been through my whole life maybe he could give me a break and let me have someone in my life that i can share life with and enjoy life with. everynight i pray this. i became friends with a man. not in the intention of dating him but we talked and had many conversations. it got to the point where i was like damn am i really feeling some type of way about this person. we talked so more and now we are involved. we took things day by day and i liked that. he treats me with so much respect and truely cares for me. its the little things that he does that matters so much to me. the goodmorning texts and i got to work ok texts. its the fact that he cares for me. he means the world to me and i love him alot. i never knew what real love was and how it felt. its the best feeling in the world and now i pray to god each night and thank him. i thank him for sending this person to me and thank him that he gave me my break and made me think that maybe all the bad and horrible things i have been through were worth it bc now i have my angel. lots of love <3>